1. |
There Is No Soil Here
08:41
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2. |
Communion of Materials
07:05
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3. |
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And so while I was on the ground
I decided that I was going to lay my neck down
On the rail line
Just to see what it would feel like
To feel that like, cold steel
Just the iron on my neck
Everything that you've worked up towards, worked up to
All the love that you've shared
And conflict that you've had with people
All the stories of bitterness and anger
And your history, your narrative, all of it
Leading up to this point
And this is it
This is the end of your life.
I just remember
Feeling so fucking hopeless
Like, this was it, this is all there was left in life for me
And feeling like no matter what I did this was it
This was all there was going to be
And I think to myself
Well you've been thinking about it all day
You've been thinking about it, next time you see a train
You're going to go kill yourself
You're going to go kill yourself.
And then suddenly like, nothing else exists around me
Nothing exists
It's just me and this train
And it's getting closer and closer to me
I'm just alone in this train yard
With my neck on this rail
I came so close
I came so fucking close
That would have been like, it.
This is it, this is the end of your life
You're going to go kill yourself.
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